Spirits?

A few mights ago I had a vision? Maybe a dream?

I was tire so I went to bed early last Thursday night. At some point i can remember trying to turn over and unable because the blanket was stuck. I can't say if I opened my eyes or was dreaming but it felt so real. What i saw was my father in law, sitting on the edge of the bed and on my blanket. i should probably share that he passed away over two years ago. he just sat there with a peaceful look on his face. A few moments latter i heard a noise in the room and saw my husband walking to the bathroom, I remember rolling over and saying, "hey, you dad was just here." .

In the morning before I fulling awoke, my husband kissed me goodbye and said I love you. then as I tried to snuggle my face back into my pillow and go back to sleep I heard some one from behind me say "Mom". I sat straight up and looked around, I was alone in the room except for my two little puppies. My boys were in their rooms. The voice I heard was Robert's. I can swear it.

Two visits in one night. I could be crazy, or maybe just miss them. But I think its neither. Why my father in law and not my Dad? I believe he came to me to ensure that I was OK, that I am strong enough to take care of the boys yet in my hair. I heard Robert calling me for reasons I don't know. But I have to believe that my loved ones are together and watching over me and my boys (all three of them, including my hubby).

My heart and soul misses Robert so much there are moments I can't stand it and want to lash out. People mean well with their words of concern such as "in time things will get better", "I understand what you're going through." I know they want to help but these words only make me angry.

Because will things really be better in time, are they implying that someday that void in my heart and soul will go away. Really?
And no one truly understands what I am going through unless they have lost a child so young. I pray that this pain is received by anyone I love or know. its unbearable most of the time.

Please don't say I'm strong, because I'm not. I am just a good actress.