Is it enough?

As I drop off my youngest son at school, I can't help but wonder have I given my children enough?

I'm not talking material things because in that respect they got to much, but did I give them enough of me.

I always wanted to be the kind of mom that walked my kids to school, was there waiting when they got out. I wanted to be the volunteer in their class, and be there for every game, practice and performance. But some how through like I am not that person. i would on some days rather be at work instead of at home with them. Why? Is it wrong of me? I love my boys with all my heart and would throw myself in front of a bullet for any one of them.

I see moms out there that that's all they do, and they seem to love it.

I guess I will never know. All I can do is tell them how much I love them and be there when they call.

so here and now for the world to see I want my three boys to know I love them.

I love you Robert

I love you Trevor

I love you Kevin

You three are my world. I may not be the mom I dreamed of but I am your mom and that makes my life worth while.

Falling

On Sunday night i participate in a bowling league, and this Sunday was no different. I arrived to the alley not feeling 100% but I chalked it up to a long day and stress.I was holding up fairly well until the third game. I was having a great game of spares and strikes when in the middle of the game I got up to take my turn and the world caved in on me.

I remember setting myself, looking at the pins and then the arrows on the lane in preparation to throw my ball. I can recall taking my first steps then nothing. The world went black and the next thing I saw was the oily lane a mere inches from my face and the searing pain that was shooting threw me.

I don't really know what happened I felt nothing specific prior to the blackout except I just didn't feel right. My knees are black and blue, swollen and extremely sore. My wrists are sore, because I apparently threw my hands out when I fell. My right elbow aches from hitting on the lane. My back, waist and shoulders are stiff and sore from the impact. Not to mention my ego is bruised from falling in front of a bowling alley full of people I know well. Apparently I made a loud thud when I hit the lane.

Just so no one worries I will be seeing my doctor on Tuesday and discussing the event.

What really sucks is I think I was on a roll to my high game of the season.